My list of Goals for Life is broken up into three sections: Probable, Possible, and Unlikely. Here are some examples (it starts off kind of sappy, and gets better):
- Pay off my school loans
- Figure out what I want to be when I grow up/do that
- Get a house/pay for house/own house
- Achieve contentment/happiness
- Meet girl, fall in love, get married, have kids, embarrass them when they get older
- Hike the entire length of the Appalachian Trail
- Write a (preferably good) book (I’ve tried, it’s hard)
- Live in a cabin in the woods for an unspecified amount of time
- Beat Pac-Man
- Own a boat/sail around the world/earn Popeye-anchor tattoos
- See Goal #1 of “Possible”, replace “girl” with “Emma Watson”
- Give ponies to my friends
Last night, I added a #5 to the “Probable” list:
5. Eventually become a real bearded Santa
At the Library we had our annual open house, and there’s this local dude who is a member of the Buckeye Santas, which is one of several groups in America of guys who maintain a beard and act jolly all year round.
Just think about that for a minute. In order to be a member, you have to have a full beard year round (unless, according to the charter, you have a medical reason why you can’t which will be taken on a case-by-case basis, though I’m struggling to think up a medical reason why you couldn’t keep a beard), and you have to act in a manner that is conducive to the way people see Santa Claus.
I’ve been thinking about that since last year, and let me tell you, it’s a tough notion. No flying off the handle. It doesn’t mean you’ve got to be all “Ho Ho Ho” for 12 months a year, but you can’t be a douchebag.
I think I could handle that.
(Right now, my mom is reading this and thinking, “Oh, Lord, what is he saying,” to which I respond “Chill, mom: I’ve got to have white hair to pull this off, and hopefully I’ll be old and retired and you’ll be long expired.” Not that I want you dead, understand, it’s just going to be a while, is what I’m saying. And then I can’t embarrass you with my wacky hijinks anymore! It’s win-win.)
So anywayssss, there you go. There’s my (current) list of Life Goals, be they normal or wacky, likely or not.
What do you want to be when you grow up?