Tony goes to the Ren Fest!

I love the Renaissance Festival. And since you’re here reading this, you probably care about “why” I love the Ren Fest, so I’ll tell you.

I love the food

I love games

I love the people in costume

And, of course, the eye candy is nice, too

I went to the Renaissance Festival last Sunday and had a great time, which ought to tell you a bit about the kind of person I am. The day started out with glorious sleeping in. It’s the rare Sunday that I skip church, but we were leaving at around the same time services were just getting into the swing of things, so there wasn’t really a point to going.

I assume God likes the Ren Fest too, so I’m sure he understood.

After the sleeping in, I pulled out my kilt, which I haven’t worn since commencement at college (I’m sure my folks sure were proud of their oldest son as he accepted his diploma to the sound of an auditorium full of laughter) and ironed the wrinkles out. Clutching my freshly printed tickets I piled into my car and went to pick up some pals. Here’s the crew manifest:

Captain (Me)
First Mate (a good friend)
Ship’s Physician (Mom)
The pretty one that serves no purpose (my sister)
Random Crew *expendable* (Sister’s boyfriend, 3 more of my friends)

For those of you counting at home, that’s 8 people along for the ride. Awright.

When we finally get there about an hour and a half later, I’m beginning to question if the kilt was the best idea: it’s frickin’ cold out. But by the time I walk through the parking lot and get to the main gate, my legs are either numb or my Scottish Heritage gives me a +5 racial bonus against cold damage; regardless, I feel fine, and I can tell this is gonna be a good day.

Oh yeah: good to go

We get to the gate (which looks like a castle) and we get inside, immediately to be surrounded by people in period dress from nearly every era and : Victorian/Elizabethan England, Ancient to more Modern Scotland, vikings, there was a dude dressed as the Pope… it was awesome.

They had projectile-and-thrown weapon games as well, but you had to pay for them with RenFest money, which they sold to you in increments of $5. All the games cost RF$3. If you’re doing the math, you need to buy $15 worth just so you wouldn’t take the useless RFDollars home. Oh, they’s sneaky.

So I bought some RFBucks, and tried every game they had: bows and arrows (that were made for tiny people, not sexy frost-resistant behemoths like myself), tiny throwing knives, big throwing knives, ninja stars, spears, and my personal favorite: throwing axes.

Like this, but less potential for murder

That’s better

I nailed the target right betwixt the eyes (it was a longhorn outline painted on a wall). It was beautiful. Sure, I missed the first 4 throws, but the upside to throwing axes is that even if you don’t get the axey-part to stick, you did just throw a 5 pound weight-on-a-stick at them, and they’re probably unconscious and ready to be dispatched at your leisure.

The only downside for the entire day was the food I got: I bought the giant turkey leg.

It’s tradition

… and it sucked. It was terrible. It tasted like ham. If I wanted ham, I would have got the ham, but I don’t like ham: that’s why I bought the turkey leg. Graaah.

But that was the only problem. If you’ve never been, you should check it out because the Ren Fest is a hoot and a half.

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