I’m old fashioned that way

I should have been born a cowboy, or in time for WWII. Back when you could punch people for being an idiot, or rude… or looking at you funny… or cause you wanted to punch them. And nobody thought twice!

I’ve never been good with bullies. I understand them, but my Christian-upbringing, combined with my steady diet of superhero comics, soon erased any possibility of me ever being one.

I got spanked as a kid. I was not abused, as so many people nowadays believe spanking to be synonymous with, but when I misbehaved extraordinarily, I was punished in a manner accordingly, and in a way that my young mind could easily understand.

Kids don’t understand ethics. They are biologically incapable of giving two craps about anyone that isn’t themselves. That’s science. But what I did understand was pain. Not thumbscrews, but a whack on the bottom.

“Throwing a tantrum because mom didn’t buy the Doublestuf Oreos will result in a spanking? Then perhaps I shouldn’t throw a tantrum.”

DING.

BAM. Goal achieved. Ethics came later, when my brain was developed enough to handle them. In the meantime, I’m not being a nuisance to my mom and the other people in Krogers.

“Shut that kid up or I’ll do it for you.”

Now, though, I’ve got to fight the notion that a sock to the jaw (or two, or a dozen) isn’t exactly what some people need. Not because of the spankings, but the comics, and TV. You watch these justice shows that are all about doing things within the law… but you don’t feel right until the main character plants some sweet chin music on the guy that steals from grannys.

I love the sound of sweet chin music.

But, I fight that urge because I appreciate our legal system. Is it a good system? No. Is it the best system? Yes.

Still, I hate people that say stuff about “an eye for an eye would leave everyone blind”. That’s straight up the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard: it’s supposed to be a warning. How many people would you go around plucking the eyes out of if you knew you’d lose one yourself? Probably not many. (Definitely no more than two.)

Still, barring that, there are more mature ways to handle things… but that sweet chin music still holds it’s appeal.

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