Movie Muhtuesday Mass Review – A-Team, Eclipse, Get Him to the Greek

Oh, hey guys, how’s it going?

I’ve determined that I’m not going to be one of those guys who blogs once every month or so. I hate those guys. (Darn guys.) So, in penance for it being so long since I last blogged atcha (it’s been like a week, right? Something like that. I’m too lazy to look) here’s my first MASS REVIEW!

“But Tony,” you might be thinking, “those movies are already in dollar theaters, they’ve been out so long!” To which I say, “Yes, but SHUT UP.” My time is precious, and I’m not gonna waste it on… some things.

SOME THINGS

A-Team – 7-out-of-10 T’s


This flick was a good time. I have a saying when people ask me if I enjoyed something:

“If you’re expecting Citizen Kane, you’re going to be disappointed.”

This is not Citizen Kane. This is the A-Team. This is about a group of guys who are continuously put into impossible situations, and then come out smelling like roses because they use their brains and plan stuff. Hannibal (Liam Neeson, one of my fave-rits evar) has this great line in the movie:

“Give me a minute, I’m good. Give me an hour, I’m great. Give me six months, I’m unbeatable.”

I LOVE IT.

There’s a bit of the film, where it’s like Hannibal is passing on the planning-reigns to Face, that I didn’t really dig, but he gives them back by the end. Also, there were some fight scenes that I had trouble with because they changed shots so fast, but these are minor in the grand scheme of things. This movie was fun. It explains how the A-Team got together, it’s full of these characters being the characters we remember from the TV show, and there’s plenty of stuff blowing up. Go to a Dollar Theater and check this out. I’d be willing to pay full price to see it again.

EXPLOSIONS!

Eclipse – 6-out-of-10 T’s

I give credit where credit is due: this movie was actually decent. Was there more drama than I like? Yes. But there was valid character development, people reacted to things in ways that I understood, and there were glorious vampire-werewolf fight scenes that actually got my blood pumping a little bit.

One of my friends put it like this:

“They’re getting ready to fight, and I think ‘this better not suck’, and then the first thing that happens is a guy punches someone’s head off.”

For that, I give them props.

I haven’t made it that far in the books yet, but apparently when vampires die here, they break apart like marble statues. That’s actually kind of cool, and a way to depict horrible violence and still get a PG-13 rating. Good thinking. I gives more props.

This is the first movie in the series that actually kept me engaged, and that I didn’t want to burst out laughing at. I’d see this again. I’d rather watch, y’know, Terminator 2 or something, but I’d watch this again.

Get Him to the Greek – 8-out-of-10 T’s


I laughed so hard at this. It’s rowdy, it’s raunchy, it shows all the debauchery that occurs in the world of a rock star, and it does it with a character I already know and like (Aldous Snow, played by Russell Brand, who first showed up in Forgetting Sarah Marshall). He’s off the wagon now, and he fell off HARD.

In an effort to revive his flagging career after the release of a bad album (Called “African Child”, which one reviewer referred to as “The third worst thing to happen to Africa after Famine and War”), he’s doing an anniversary concert at the Greek Theater, which is in California. The dude who came up with the idea, played by Jonah Hill, has to get this off-the-wagon rock star from England to New York (to pimp to show) to California. Snow causes as much trouble along the way as possible, and it’s hilarious… and sometimes scary.

Something I wasn’t expecting was to actually see the downside of the lifestyle. When Hill pop’s Snow’s balloon-o’-heroin, Snow gets really angry. Like, junkie angry. Completely unexpected.

But, of course, this is first and foremost a comedy, and in that aspect it does not disappoint. I’ve already seen it twice. Another pleasant surprise was that the music was actually really good. I bought the album, which is filled with horrible single-entendre (which is like double entendre but without the effort spent on hiding), but you want to sing along with it (which I admit I totally do in the comfort of my car).

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This is yet another raunchy comedy, and it’s totally worth paying to see. Check it out.

And that was mah first Mass Review. Hopefully, this won’t become a regular thing, but if it must, it must. Thanks for reading, and take your vitamins.

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