Eating like a caveman

So, have you ever said you were going to do something and then lost the urge?

Yeah. Pretend that this first part is a scathing review of motivational posters and how they don’t really motivate. The best thing to come out of motivational posters is a format that the Internet can make fun of.

See? Hilarious.

In other news on the Tony-Front, I’ve recently found something that really appeals to me, but I’ve been hesitant to talk about because I live in a farming community. It’s called the Paleo Lifestyle.

You may have heard of it: it’s received some coverage from the New York Times, there was a Nightline Special a few weeks ago (here’s a link so you can watch it), and basically everyone is calling it “the Caveman Diet”, which simultaneously sums it up and makes it something silly (like calling veganism “the bunny food diet” or whatever).

This poor guy looks like he has enough problems
without people making fun of him.

Basically, the point is this: we’ve been putting crap into our bodies ever since the Agricultural Revolution, and that’s not what we’re meant to be eating. It’s gotten exponentially worse in the last century with the invention of all the chemicals on the backs of labels that you can’t pronounce.

Say what now?

We aren’t meant to be eating that stuff, so it’s no surprise that America is getting crazy fat and dying from diabetes and driving everywhere on Rascal Scooters.


The Paleo Lifestyle is an attempt to get back to our roots. Whether you believe in Adam or Evolution, it’s something that everyone ought to be able to agree on: it’s only recently that we’ve started pounding high-fructose corn syrup and Big Macs, and so it’s only recently that diabetes and obesity have become the fastest growing causes of death in America.

The goal? Eat stuff without labels: vegetables and fruits that haven’t been treated with preservatives and shoved into cans for months, meat that doesn’t come between two buns and covered in ketchup, and fluids that aren’t 50% sugar.

It makes sense to me, and pretty much gets past my BS-o-meter.

I mentioned Scientology and it just went off.

So, I’ve been trying it out, and I like it so far. I’ve been avoiding grains (which is something that Paleo-ers really push, but I don’t really want to talk about since Ohio’s leading industry is agriculture and I don’t want my ENTIRE home town to hate me) and fast food, haven’t been drinking much pop, and I’m feeling good. I’ve been waiting for the weather to get nicer before I start exercising, and the Weather-App on my phone is telling me promises about the next few weeks…

And you wouldn’t lie to me, would you, WeatherBug?

This is it, guys. I don’t think I’ll ever be anything but a fuzzy, mustachioed man-mountain… but I can be a fuzzy, mustachioed man-mountain with SMALLER PANTS.

That’s the dream.

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4 Responses to Eating like a caveman

  1. Lizzie says:

    Hi Tony,

    I wanted to write a blog post but I can’t find my list of things I wanted to say so I thought I thought I would finally comment on this post of yours….

    When I read it first, I thought it was great because I generally think it is the way I eat. I don’t actually eat any Slovak foods, but what is in their grocery stores has made me adjust the way I do things a bit. My favorite thing to include is wheat berries. Seriously, it blew my mind at first. Back in America, I would have said “yeah, I eat whole wheat- I never eat white bread.” But seriously, I don’t really know that I knew wheat berries existed.

    But I just watched this video that you linked to and am surprised to see that they don’t eat whole grains. Especially for me being a long time vegetarian, I think that have an important place in our diets. But okay I can’t give them a hard time for eliminating a food group because I’ve done that with meat and now with dairy too.

    Does this caveman diet allow dairy? They specifically mentioned no carbs but I am interested in their take on milk/cheese. Also, here’s a big one, how exactly is this different than the Atkins diet?

    I did like the part about the work outs. It’s clearly just a strength training regime and there’s no doubt that that works, but I was surprised that they never really mentioned running. Especially if they try to boost the “diet” part, cardio absolutely helps boost weight loss. Also, the old man was right about not hurting himself by doing the same exercise over and over, but how do you think he comes up with different exercises everyday? I think that would be hard.

    Okay food for thought. :)

  2. Vitamin T says:

    The thing about even whole grains is that they have a crap-ton of gluten in them. Any of the benefits offered by any kind of bread or grain is rendered moot because of the gluten they contain, which causes and increased risk of diabetes, plus all kinds of uncomfortable bloating. I’ve been nearly bread-free for a few months now, and I’m feeling great.

    As for the differences between this and Atkins, I can’t really speak to since I don’t know that much about Atkins. From what I DO know, I would say the main differences are mostly psychological: Paleo isn’t a “diet” in that you do it for a while and quit, it’s a lifestyle.

    Dairy is discouraged by some and ignored by the rest. If you feel crappy after consuming it, don’t; if it doesn’t bother you and it isn’t hindering your health, go for it.

    As for the excercises, I think it’s more of a round than never ever doing the same thing twice. Maybe wait a week between doing deadlifts or bear crawls, and fill up the rest of the days with other stuff. And running is really a hot button issue with some of the folks: some love it (read “Born to Run”, it’s all about the pros), where as Mr. De Vany (the old man) can’t stand it and says it damages the body.

    Paleo is really young and still working out what’s right and wrong, but the foundation is the same: avoid the crap that passes for food these days, and get out and move around. When you get the food part down, that’s 80% of the thing right there.

  3. Lizzie says:

    What’s your take on spelt then?

  4. Vitamin T says:

    It’s probably better than Wonderbread, but wheat – of any kind – didn’t enter the human diet until about 10-12 thousand years ago. Out of the 1-2 million we’ve been around, that’s nothing. If all of humanity’s timeline was a football field, the time we’ve been using grain would be less than a foot. We’re just not built to digest the stuff.

    All that said, it sure is tasty. I haven’t eliminated it from my diet (pizza, cinnamon rolls, that sort of thing, seem to keep worming their way in there, and that’s the “nearly” from my first response), even though I believe it would be better for me.

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