I’ve been considering getting a cat. I have already considered getting a dog, but it didn’t end up working out and I think that’s for the best: I don’t have the time to give a dog the attention it deserves… but a cat? Cats are just really excellent roommates that poop in a box and keep the furniture from floating away.
Another thought is this: what if I get two cats? They can keep each other company while I’m not at home, and I just need to empty out twice as much box-poop. This is a small price to pay, I think, for fur-covered companionship.
Well, I believe my subconscious picked up on this desire, and decided to start messing with me. Lemme ‘splain.
I dreamt last night. I don’t remember everything, unlike my previous forays into theLand of Nod (potentially-but-not-necessarily hosted by certain Canadians), but I do remember certain milestones, and these stones involved felines and my acquisition thereof.
These were the two cats that I ended up getting:
Derpy was a lady cat, and she was kind of retarded (which, in most internet circles, is the definition of the word “derp”). I can give you no specific examples of anything particularly derptastic that she did in the dream, other than running in to walls or getting herself stuck on things. Whatever those specific examples may be, even though they are lost to memory, there were several of them over the course of the dream.
It could have been a drinking game: take a shot every time Derpy derps.
I AM SO PLASTERED!
Here was my second felinoid pet-thing:
..but out of the corner of your eye, he also looked like this.
Shawn Patrick Hunter from Boy Meets World,
played by Rider Strong
Before you ask, the answer is “no, I have no idea why actors (not even actresses, but ACTORS) from my childhood keep appearing in my dreams, but there has yet to be anything… *hand-wavy-motion* faygala in any of these dream sequences, so I’ll just chalk it up to the leftover ziti I had for dinner and not worry about it.
Still, a dream with Topanga would be nice…
Anyway. Another fear regarding getting a pet is that I wouldn’t have enough money to take care of it once I got it. Here, Shawn surprised me by whipping out some cash and telling me to go buy some gravy.
Yes. He said “gravy”. I don’t know why. Maybe for the wet catfood, like Fancy Feast or whatever. Regardless, it brought to mind a beautiful notion:
Pets that pay for themselves.
I need to find a way to profit from owning a cat. Maybe rent them out to old-folks homes? Charge $10 for a 5-minute cuddle session? These are just a few possibilities, but rest assured, dear reader: a change is coming for the world of the pet owner. No longer will cats and dogs and… ferrets… and their ilk, whatever, NO LONGER shall they free load. They shall PAY load instead!
You can thank me later.